Directed by: John R. Leonetti

Starring: Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton

An ugly demonic doll terrorises a squeaky clean American couple in this poorly executed, soulless cash-in.

Before I get started on why this film is terrible, i just want to clarify my stance on spooky dolls. They scare the piss out of me. Dolls are inherently frightening – that much is certain – but if you’re going to focus the plot of an entire movie around one, there needs to be more beneath the surface.

Annabelle is the hotly anticipated feature film starring that hideous haunted doll from the opening scene of The Conjuring. Unfortunately it takes no cues from it’s polished yet unnerving predecessor, and we seem to have ended up with a dull, by-the-numbers shocker that, despite it’s subject matter, lacks any discernible soul.

The film follows the story of Mia and John, a picture perfect American couple expecting their first baby. They have the perfect life; they love each other, they are successful, and they visit church regularly. Then, John inexplicably buys Mia the world’s ugliest and most terrifying doll as a romantic present, which they promptly display with pride of place in the nursery of their upcoming sprog. Shortly afterwards their home is invaded by crazed cult members, one of whom kills herself while holding the doll, bleeding into it and causing some demons to go into the doll or something like that. Mia tries to recover from the harrowing attack, but is terrorised by some vaguely spooky goings on that she believes stems from the doll.

Despite being the marquee film of Halloween this year, Annabelle doesn’t try a lot of new or brave ideas to push the frights to new levels, something it’s predecessors have at least tried to do. Even when it does dip it’s toe in moments of true horror (there’s a scene late in the film that would have ended the film on an impressively tragic note) they immediately back track onto a safer course. As far as demons go, the main antagonist of Annabelle is surprisingly tame, opting for a few naughty illusions in place of any, you know, actual torment and shit. I’m astounded this film was rated higher than a 12a, considering how light it is on scares and blood. It has basic genre clichés, unbelievably convenient plot devices and derivative imagery bursting from every orifice – from the squeaky clean, inscrutable couple at the centre of all the spookery, all the way to the wholesome bookstore owner who is also an expert in obscure occultism and demonology.

John R. Leonetti (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, The Butterfly Effect 2) doesn’t do a terrible job directing, and he finds some effective angles and shots of the titular toy that do briefly unnerve, but they never lead anywhere exciting. I mean, it’s hard to pin point why it’s so rubbish, but i guess it all just feels a bit… empty. A blatant cash-in on an extraneous scene in a much better movie. Annabelle’s ten minute opening segment in The Conjuring is a far tighter and scarier piece of fiction than this, and it’s clear they struggled to fill the 90 minute runtime with any substantial creativity. It’s haphazardly stuffed with proven set-pieces stolen from other films, some of which are more egregious than others (there’s even a direct carbon copy of a key scare from Insidious), and it never sets itself apart from the kind of straight-to-dvd nonsense you see on the bottom shelf in Asda.

You would be best served to save your money this Halloween, instead of seeing this. Spend it on a few bags of Fangtastics or something, you’re likely to get a bit more enjoyment out of those, and the sugar is more likely to give you a heart attack than this film. Annabelle is a horror movie categorically NOT made for regular consumers of horror, relying too much on it’s audience being wholly unfamiliar with the horror tropes it so lazily employs. Disappointing.

1/5